I learned the term “relationship anarchy” (RA) many years ago and did not think much of it, although it became very relevant to me later on.
About two years ago, I tried this concept on myself after an intense breakup and after coming out as bisexual for the first time, realizing that I might not be cut out for hetero-normative monogamy after all (though I am certain I knew this all along).
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But what is relationship anarchy, and how do you know if you should apply this relationship advice to your life?
Relationship anarchy is defined as “…the belief that relationships should not be bound by rules aside from what the people involved mutually agree upon.”
To me, relationship anarchy means releasing the rules, and structures, of relationships that society instills in you. It is about customizing your relationships to meet your needs and those of the people you’re in a relationship with — whether it’s romantic, platonic, sexual, or any combination of the above.
It means that there’s no “hierarchy” of these relationships. It means there are no benchmarks you have to hit for your relationships to feel “successful” or “real.” It means that your independence is not a threat to your relationships and that you can put your needs first.
Simply put, relationship anarchy means that I get to dictate who my important people are, and how we exist in each other’s lives.
RA has helped me attain a level of stability and security, in my relationships that I never thought possible.
I believe that connection and community save us. Relationships are how you survive the most difficult parts of being human. If you’re able to create strong, authentic connections that hold you best, you become the most resilient, powerful version of yourself.
While RA is not for everyone, I do believe it holds lessons every relationship can benefit from.
Here are 6 lessons you can learn from relationship anarchy and apply to your own relationships — including the one with yourself:
1. You realize love is abundant.
When you love from a place of abundance, everything feels more attainable. You’re no longer held back by constraints, rules, or a poverty mindset. Love moves freely from you into others, and vice versa.
When you believe the love you possess is finite, you come from a place of fear. Fear that you don’t have enough, that you cannot be enough, that you cannot love enough to keep someone.
This creates power imbalances, creates toxic patterns, and causes people to disconnect from their friends when they find themselves in a new relationship. But if you approach your relationships knowing that love is infinite, you understand you can love all your people equally, without taking anything away from someone else.
2. You can use jealousy for self-reflection
Even if you fully believe that love is abundant and that all relationships are valid and important, you’ll still experience jealousy. It’s a human emotion that even those in the most stable relationship will experience.
I find myself jealous in some of my friendships more often than I care to admit.
The important piece is to notice your jealousy and to explore it. Instead of immediately jumping to anger, ask yourself where the jealousy is coming from.
Are you not getting a need met? Have you hit on an insecurity? How can you communicate this emotion without being accusatory?
The people you choose to engage in relationships with do not owe you anything. The sooner you realize that and can discuss your insecurities, the stronger your relationships will become.
3. You learn to let go of ownership and entitlement
We can all agree that you do not “own” any other person, no matter the relationship. But once in a while when jealousy rears its head, it can feel like you owe your time, your body, and your heart to your partner.
One of my favorite parts of relationship anarchy is that I am constantly reminded that my life, my body, my heart, and my time are mine, and mine alone. I get to make decisions that put my needs first.
And I know that when I value myself, and my needs, my relationships benefit.
4. Values can guide your relationships
Knowing what you value most highly allows you to live as your most authentic self. It also allows you to attract people into your life who match you energetically and build you up.
When you are guided by your values, you’re able to let go of societal norms and expectations of you, and of your relationships. You are also far less likely to lose ourselves in a relationship, as you are intimately connected to who you are, and what drives you.
It’s easy to get carried away with the narrative “love is enough,” and you forget about compatibility, similar goals, values, and being able to enjoy each other on a daily basis.
Getting to know yourself first is a key piece of building long-lasting relationships.
5. You can create “intentional” relationships
Don’t let society, or other people, tell you what your relationships are supposed to look or feel like.
You are responsible for creating your own relationships. You are responsible for getting your needs met, both in your relationships with others and yourself.
When you create intentional relationships, you fill your life with people who support and hold you. You create a life that feels solid, even when it gets hard.
You make more room for self-discovery, and for adventure and play.
6. You can be spontaneous and live your life.
As soon as I was able to let go of the narratives around relationships, I freed myself up to listen to what I truly wanted. I found a life that fit me and discovered that the people who would engage in a relationship with me would respect my choices.
With no trajectory to follow, relationship anarchy allows individuals to find their flow in relationships. To discover what makes their relationship come alive.
When you set clear boundaries, and show up as your true self, you make room to explore, have an open dialogue, and be honest about what is going to create the very best relationships you could ask for.
Relationship anarchy asks you to put aside the expectations you put on yourself. It demands that you get to know yourself and create solid boundaries.
It requires you to shake off the layers of societal pressure so that you are able to figure out what you truly, authentically, want and need in order to make you, and your partners and friends, shine the brightest.
Discovering a label that fits you well will give you the freedom to date how you want, make your friendships stronger, and connect with yourself in a new way. It will allow you to truly come alive and learn to love.
4 Reasons You Need To Bet At Multiple Online Sportsbooks
When you decide to finally stop simply watching your favorite sports and start to play and test your luck in sports betting, you might encounter these lines: “you should be online” and “you should bet at multiple online sportsbooks.” And when you do your research, many expert bettors also suggest the same idea. And that makes you wonder why there is a need to bet on different sportsbooks when you can do it on one.
Well, you’ve come to the right place to answer the question that’s been bugging you. Here, we will give you the most important and key takeaways that should help you figure out why many bettors, including experts, highly advise betting at multiple sportsbooks. We also included additional information that makes betting at multiple bookies a fun thing.
Reasons Why Betting At Multiple Sportsbook Is An Advantage
First thing you should know is that betting on multiple online sportsbooks is a great idea. If you did your research, you could find principles mentioned by many expert bettors that having multiple accounts on different online sportsbooks will gain you leverage. That means the more accounts you have, the better chances of improving your profit or your winnings.
So here’s the first reason why…
Any sports bettor who wants to become an expert or be professional should know how to do line shopping or “odds shopping.” This is one of the basic principles in sports betting, and it’s one of those fundamentals that must be mastered.
Line shopping or odds shopping is like buying your favorite pair of shoes. You visit one shop and another to find the best price for the item. Once you spot the best price, you grab it. That ends with the same quality and brand of the shoes but purchased it at a lower price. That’s the concept of line shopping- getting the best value for your money.
However, there’s a trick that you should know in the world of sports betting. A Sportsbook will set their odds differently from others, all because they’re favoring the crowd’s favorite or they want to balance their money roll while keeping their patrons happy. This is why you need to sign up for multiple online sportsbooks; to beat this trick.
Lots Of Offers
This one thing that many sports bettors enjoy so much: free money and tons of offers on promotions and bonuses!
Online bookies are businesses, and just like any other business, they want to make their clients happy as much as possible all the time. This is to ensure that the client will return and still play at their platform. And the things they do to make this possible? That’s to keep them entertained and fascinated.
Newly signed-up users usually have free money that they can enjoy when trying their luck and taste betting without the need to use their real money. There are also free bets that require no real money from you, but it turns into real cash prizes when you win. There are also risk-free bets that entice sports bettors to keep on playing.
In sports betting, timing is very crucial, and this is one thing that you should learn. When you sign up for different bookies, you’ll learn that they’re rolling out their betting offerings at different times. Some bookies post their moneyline at night before the event takes place. With this type of timing, you can still see how the line shift gives you time to do some readjustments. This can be an advantage for you.
But some bookies post their moneyline on the day of the event; some post it an hour before the event. This might be a problem if you’re using this kind of bookie. You don’t have time to adjust your bets or make necessary changes as the line starts to shift.
If you’re the type of bettor who wants to study line movement, this type of bookie is not for you, and you should start checking other bookies out there.
More Variety In Betting Options
Suppose you want to enjoy the lucrative world of sports betting, or you’re just bored with the typical money line, over/under, and other betting types. In that case, many bookies offer a variety of betting options, and it might get you interested and hooked. Some of these other betting varieties are easy to play with, some offer hefty cash prizes, and some offer decent wins.
The more sportsbook accounts you have, the more options you have at your disposal. And it means you have more chances of winning or improving your profit. You play and win, and sometimes, if you lose, it’s a manageable loss since some of these betting types require a low betting price.
To sum it all up
Betting at multiple online sportsbooks offers you many advantages that can make you improve your winnings. You can always play the traditional betting types or enjoy and indulge in some minor betting varieties that don’t require too much research and analysis. There’s one thing that you should remember all the time, always choose a credible bookie. There are tons of them already on the web, so make sure you study them or ask experts if they are trusted ones. You don’t want to get robbed on the online web.
Melinda French Gates Now A Billionaire After Stock Transfer From Bill Gates
Bill’s investment vehicle, Cascade Investment, transferred $1.8 billion in securities to Melinda on Monday, May 3, the same day the pair announced their surprise divorce, according to SEC filings. That makes Melinda worth at least $1.8 billion, while the stock transfer puts a slight dent in Bill’s net worth, which fell to an estimated $128.6 billion, from $130.4 billion. Even after the ten-figure transfer, the Microsoft cofounder remains the fourth-richest person in the world.
Melinda received 2.94 million shares of AutoNation and 14.1 million shares of Canadian National Railway Co., which are worth $309 million and $1.5 billion, respectively. (Bloomberg News first reported the transfer.) Bill uses Cascade Investment, a holding company based in Kirkland, Washington, to manage his money, including the proceeds from selling Microsoft shares. Bill at one point owned a significant slice of Microsoft, but has given away (to the Gates Foundation) or sold most of his stake over the years and now holds less than 1%.
The stock transfer is almost certainly part of Bill and Melinda’s divorce settlement. While it’s unclear if they signed a prenup, according to their divorce filing Bill and Melinda asked a judge in Washington State to divide their assets based on the terms of a separation contract—a document that is typically signed when spouses are living apart but have not yet divorced. The terms of the contract weren’t disclosed. Bill may have also transferred other assets to Melinda in nonpublic transactions.
Mindfulness Activities to Find Calm at Any Age
The practice of mindfulness is gaining popularity as a way to ease stress, soothe anxiety, and be more present and engaged in life.
Good news: Incorporating mindfulness activities into your routine can be incredibly simple, no matter what your age.
With a little forethought, almost everything you do can become an opportunity for mindfulness
The everyday mindfulness activities below offer plenty of opportunities to slow down, get present, and be more aware of yourself and your surroundings.
Mindfulness activities for adults
One of the most common and well-known mindfulness activities for adults is meditation. While it may seem esoteric or inaccessible, meditation can actually be very simple.
These exercises are meant to transform everyday experiences into mindful moments.
Walking meditation is exactly what it sounds like: a form of meditation you practice while walking, often in a straight line or circle.
You can do it almost anywhere, whether you’re walking to work, taking a stroll around the neighborhood, or hanging out with your kids at the park.
If you’re driving your car, you can engage with the process by focusing on the weight of the vehicle underneath you, the texture of the road you’re driving on, the sound of the tires against the gravel, even the shape and feel of the seat against your rear.
Then, you can send your focus out to scan your environment and become aware not only of other vehicles, lights, and pedestrians, but also of the terrain, foliage, and skyline. With practice, you may even become a better driver.
Keep your phone on silent, turn off the music, and save the makeup application for the parking lot.
You likely (correctly!) guessed that single-tasking is the opposite of multitasking. All it requires is showing up fully to whatever task you’re working on.
If you’re working on the computer, focus on one task at a time. As much as you may not want to, close all the browser tabs that aren’t relevant to the project you’re working on. This can help free up mental space and might even create laser-focus.
To deepen the practice, focus on:
- how you’re breathing
- how your body feels in your seat, or how your feet feel against the floor if you’re standing
- the sensation of the air or your clothes against your skin
- the structure and posture of your body
Mindful eating is a way to turn something you do every day into a mindfulness practice.
You can make mealtimes more mindful with a few basic mindful eating practices, like listening to the sizzle of your pan and chewing slowly to savor every bite.
Other mindful eating tips you might want to try:
- Try eating with your non-dominant hand.
- Eat the first few minutes of your meal in silence and focus on the flavors, aromas, and texture of your food.
- Turn off your TV and put your phone away while you eat.
Gardening is a great way to practice mindfulness and connect with nature at the same time. Set yourself up with a simple task, like planting some seeds or watering some flowers.
As you do so, place your hand in the soil and feel its texture. Is it rough or fine? Is it damp or dry? Is it warm or cool? Allow yourself to enjoy the process as if you were a child playing.
Notice the weather — not through your mind, but through your sensations. Do you have goosebumps from a chill in the air, or is there sweat on your brow from the hot sun?
Notice any other forms of life around you, like a chattering squirrel or chirping bird. You’re likely to meet a worm or roly-poly in the soil, too.
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