I learned the term “relationship anarchy” (RA) many years ago and did not think much of it, although it became very relevant to me later on.
About two years ago, I tried this concept on myself after an intense breakup and after coming out as bisexual for the first time, realizing that I might not be cut out for hetero-normative monogamy after all (though I am certain I knew this all along).
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But what is relationship anarchy, and how do you know if you should apply this relationship advice to your life?
Relationship anarchy is defined as “…the belief that relationships should not be bound by rules aside from what the people involved mutually agree upon.”
To me, relationship anarchy means releasing the rules, and structures, of relationships that society instills in you. It is about customizing your relationships to meet your needs and those of the people you’re in a relationship with — whether it’s romantic, platonic, sexual, or any combination of the above.
It means that there’s no “hierarchy” of these relationships. It means there are no benchmarks you have to hit for your relationships to feel “successful” or “real.” It means that your independence is not a threat to your relationships and that you can put your needs first.
Simply put, relationship anarchy means that I get to dictate who my important people are, and how we exist in each other’s lives.
RA has helped me attain a level of stability and security, in my relationships that I never thought possible.
I believe that connection and community save us. Relationships are how you survive the most difficult parts of being human. If you’re able to create strong, authentic connections that hold you best, you become the most resilient, powerful version of yourself.
While RA is not for everyone, I do believe it holds lessons every relationship can benefit from.
Here are 6 lessons you can learn from relationship anarchy and apply to your own relationships — including the one with yourself:
1. You realize love is abundant.
When you love from a place of abundance, everything feels more attainable. You’re no longer held back by constraints, rules, or a poverty mindset. Love moves freely from you into others, and vice versa.
When you believe the love you possess is finite, you come from a place of fear. Fear that you don’t have enough, that you cannot be enough, that you cannot love enough to keep someone.
This creates power imbalances, creates toxic patterns, and causes people to disconnect from their friends when they find themselves in a new relationship. But if you approach your relationships knowing that love is infinite, you understand you can love all your people equally, without taking anything away from someone else.
2. You can use jealousy for self-reflection
Even if you fully believe that love is abundant and that all relationships are valid and important, you’ll still experience jealousy. It’s a human emotion that even those in the most stable relationship will experience.
I find myself jealous in some of my friendships more often than I care to admit.
The important piece is to notice your jealousy and to explore it. Instead of immediately jumping to anger, ask yourself where the jealousy is coming from.
Are you not getting a need met? Have you hit on an insecurity? How can you communicate this emotion without being accusatory?
The people you choose to engage in relationships with do not owe you anything. The sooner you realize that and can discuss your insecurities, the stronger your relationships will become.
3. You learn to let go of ownership and entitlement
We can all agree that you do not “own” any other person, no matter the relationship. But once in a while when jealousy rears its head, it can feel like you owe your time, your body, and your heart to your partner.
One of my favorite parts of relationship anarchy is that I am constantly reminded that my life, my body, my heart, and my time are mine, and mine alone. I get to make decisions that put my needs first.
And I know that when I value myself, and my needs, my relationships benefit.
4. Values can guide your relationships
Knowing what you value most highly allows you to live as your most authentic self. It also allows you to attract people into your life who match you energetically and build you up.
When you are guided by your values, you’re able to let go of societal norms and expectations of you, and of your relationships. You are also far less likely to lose ourselves in a relationship, as you are intimately connected to who you are, and what drives you.
It’s easy to get carried away with the narrative “love is enough,” and you forget about compatibility, similar goals, values, and being able to enjoy each other on a daily basis.
Getting to know yourself first is a key piece of building long-lasting relationships.
5. You can create “intentional” relationships
Don’t let society, or other people, tell you what your relationships are supposed to look or feel like.
You are responsible for creating your own relationships. You are responsible for getting your needs met, both in your relationships with others and yourself.
When you create intentional relationships, you fill your life with people who support and hold you. You create a life that feels solid, even when it gets hard.
You make more room for self-discovery, and for adventure and play.
6. You can be spontaneous and live your life.
As soon as I was able to let go of the narratives around relationships, I freed myself up to listen to what I truly wanted. I found a life that fit me and discovered that the people who would engage in a relationship with me would respect my choices.
With no trajectory to follow, relationship anarchy allows individuals to find their flow in relationships. To discover what makes their relationship come alive.
When you set clear boundaries, and show up as your true self, you make room to explore, have an open dialogue, and be honest about what is going to create the very best relationships you could ask for.
Relationship anarchy asks you to put aside the expectations you put on yourself. It demands that you get to know yourself and create solid boundaries.
It requires you to shake off the layers of societal pressure so that you are able to figure out what you truly, authentically, want and need in order to make you, and your partners and friends, shine the brightest.
Discovering a label that fits you well will give you the freedom to date how you want, make your friendships stronger, and connect with yourself in a new way. It will allow you to truly come alive and learn to love.
5 Key Tips to Maintaining a Healthy Relationship
Building a healthy romantic relationship takes a lot of effort and time. There are unavoidable ups and downs every relationship goes through. These can sometimes make people think it is impossible to have a healthy relationship. This happens because they often overlook what it takes to maintain a good relationship.
Looking for ways to build a long lasting bond with your partner? The following tips will help you maintain a healthy relationship.
SPEND ENOUGH QUALITY TIME TOGETHER
One most important way to build a relationship is by staying connected to your partner. The more you spend time together, the more you know yourselves better. People can only stay together when they understand and know themselves better. Make it a habit to spend time with your partner on a daily basis. Take time to travel together, Communicating regularly would help you to know the likes, dislikes, desires and needs of your partner.
DISCOVER YOUR PASSION LEVEL
Spending time doing something you like gives a sense of inspiration and motivation. As a couple, you should discover a shared passion that interest both parties. It could be in the form of games, a skill, or a hobby. This helps you to relish the times you spend together. You can practice taking a walk, going to the movies, reading a particular book, learning a new skill with your partner.
NURTURE A WELL MEANING EMOTIONAL CONNECTION WITH EACH OTHER.
Maintaining a healthy relationship transcends feeling loved. A lot of couples build their relationships around a peaceful coexistence, beyond which the is no any emotional attachment. A healthy relationship is one in which the partners don’t just feel loved, they are being loved. To learn how to nurture an emotional connection with your partner, click here
STAY OPEN AND HONEST
No one can ever tell what you are going through if you don’t tell them. To build a strong relationship, you shouldn’t wait for your partner to ask what you need before you tell them. Instead of making them guess what you are going through, be open to tell them. It could be a medical condition, a behavior about your partner you dislike; you should be open to let them know. Also. Be honest to admit your mistakes and faults
LEARN TO RESOLVE CONFLICTS AMICABLY.
A healthy relationship is not one without troubles; it is one that recognizes challenges as a setback to set them up for greatness. See challenges as a way to make your love life stronger. Acknowledge conflicts when they come and seek to resolve them peacefully. Each partner should be free to express their views without fear of intimidation or humiliation.
Every relationship requires consistent attention, commitment and understanding to stand the test of time. Give attention to the above tips and watch your love life flourish.
Which Horse Racing Jockey Has the Biggest Fortune?
The best horse racing jockeys can earn a lot of money during their career, especially if they rack up lots of wins in the world’s major races.
Which of them has put together the biggest fortune over the years?
Frankie Dettori – $18 Million
The Italian-born jockey has a hugely impressive list of wins stretching back to his early days when he rode 100 winners as a teenager in 1990. Since then, he has collected prize money from just about all of the major races in the UK and France, as well as in several other countries with a strong horse racing culture.
Dettori spent most of the peak of his career riding winners for the Godolphin Racing stable, and arguably his finest moment came in 1996, when he rode every single winner in the seven races held on British Champions’ Day at Ascot.
He has appeared in TV adverts and Celebrity Big Brother, as well as lending his name to video games and running restaurants. Thanks to all of this hard work and effort, he has a net worth that is thought to be as high as $18 million or so.
Yutaka Kate – $800 Million
He isn’t particularly well-known outside of his home country, but Yutaka Kate is a horse racing legend in Japan. His career began in 1987 and he smashed many Japanese records over the following decades as he rode to win after win.
Kate’s glorious career also saw him rack up big-money wins in France, Dubai, Hong Kong, and other top racing destinations. Some of his biggest victories include Japanese Derby Grand Prix and Dirt Cup, as well as the Dubai Sheema Classic.
It isn’t clear exactly how much he has picked up from his career as a jockey, as we need to add a massive amount of endorsements to his prize winnings, but some estimates suggest that he could be worth over $800 million.
Javier Castellano – $400 Million
Castellano and John Velazquez are probably the two richest jockeys on the American circuit. Castellano was born in Venezuela and moved to the US in 1997, to further his career. Since then, he had carved out a hugely successful and lucrative career. He started really picking up big prize money from the mid-2000s onwards, with Ghostzapper being a particularly profitable horse for him.
Castellano was top of the winnings list for American jockeys for several years and boosted his bank balance with wins in the Preakness Stakes, the Breeders’ Cup Classic, and the Travers Stakes. If we visit website to look at Kentucky Derby winners, we can see that this prestigious trophy has eluded him so far.
Online estimates of his current net wealth suggest that he could have a fortune of $400 million or more. In 2013 alone he won over $26 million, which was a record at the time, and has broken that record again and again since then.
Christophe Lemaire – $280 Million
While the jockeys we have looked at so far have earned fortunes racing in America, the UK, and Japan, the French horse racing circuit has also produced some highly successful jockeys.
In the case of Christophe Lemaire, he has made most of his money from racing outside of France, with many of his major victories coming in Japan. He has also led his horses to first place in countries like the UK, Australia, and the UAE. His wins include the 1,000 and 2,000 Guineas in the UK as well as the Hong Kong Cup and Japan Cup.
The size of his bank balance is thought to be at least $280 million, with most of this money coming from the Japanese racing world, where he has spent a few years as the jockey with the biggest earnings and with no sign of him stopping anytime soon.
How to Renew NHIS on Mobile Phone
Learn how to check or renew your NHIS card on any phone using these simple steps;
The National Health Insurance Scheme membership has introduced the mobile renewal service that allows members to renew their membership without any much hassle. This is because the government has successfully deployed the NHIS Mobile Renewal Service in all districts across the country. You can access it and renew your NHIS membership just by dialing *929# from any phone network. The Mobile Renewal Service takes away the time-wasting periods and other inconveniences at NHIS District Offices when going for renewals.
Steps to renew your NHIS Membership
- Dial *929#
- Select Option 2
- Select NHIS Card
- Enter the 8 Digit Membership Number
- Press Send
- Follow the instruction for payment
Steps to check your NHIS Membership Validity
- Dial *929# – All Networks
- Choose Option 1
- Select NHIS Card
- Enter Your Membership Number
If you are uncertain of anything, kindly call the NHIS Call Centre on 054-444-6447 or 030-274-6447. You can also contact the office via the shortcode 6447 on the MTN and Vodafone networks.
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